Surviving Divorce: The do’s and don’ts post divorce

Surviving a divorce in Rhode Island can be a vulnerable and painful time that seems to never end. In addition to the emotional fallout, many ex-spouses face numerous post-divorce issues involving child support, spousal maintenance, custody issues, motions, alimony terminations, order modifications and enforcement that seem to pull them back into court. Post divorce issues can be as complicated and perplexing as divorce in itself.

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Many times, spouses believe that the divorce decree finalizes many of the problems the family faced only to realize it is the start of lifelong changes that take a substantial amount of time to resolve. In some incidences, the bitter, resentful feelings lead to unexpected consequences when facing substantial changes in circumstances or when an action is not being complied with in accordance to the judge’s orders.

Do’s and Don’ts post divorce

As a part of recovering from the divorce process, the following do’s and don’ts should be followed to minimize many of the legal issues post-divorce. They include:

• Don’t Publicly Display Your Bitter Emotions  post divorce– Providence family court judges never look favorably on an ex-spouse who scoop, posts, pins or tweet any information concerning your family law issues, custody challenges or Rhode Island divorce. In fact, public displays of private family information might be detrimental to the children who view them online. Make the effort to avoid social media and instead win your legal battles in front of your judge in Family Court.

• Do File Modification Petitions Quickly post divorce – It is essential to file your motion in Family Court to modify child support payments if your employment status has changed and you have a substantial decrease in your income. This is because in Rhode Island, child support can only be modified retroactively from the date your motion was filed and the other litigant was served a notice of the claim.

• Do Follow Acceptable Court Decorum – Show up to court dressed properly and never interrupt the Family Court judge. It is essential to remember that perception is reality everywhere, including in Providence Family Court, which should never be confused with a nightclub, gym or beach.

• Don’t Be Disrespectful – Any display of disrespect to court investigators, sheriffs, court personnel or court clerks will not sit well with your Family Court judge in charge of making decisions about your future and the future of your children. Be respectful at all times and recognize that judges will always protect their staff.

• Don’t Take Illegal Drugs – If you are in the middle of a contested visitation or custody battle, it is essential to avoid all illegal drugs including marijuana and cocaine. This is because as a custodial matter, you are likely subject to take drug tests at any given moment.

• Do Take the Time to Make the Right Decisions  post divorce– Making a rash decision involving your family or divorce disputes when angry will never serve in your best interest. Take all the time you need to make the right decision for all involved.

• Don’t Belittle Others in Front of Minor Children – Directly or indirectly belittling your minor children’s other parent when young years can hear the communication must be avoided at all times. This means never fighting or arguing with the other parent anytime the child is present or in the vicinity.

Following these do’s and don’ts post divorce can help you obtain the best answers in resolving your post-divorce issues. While settling disputes do not always happen right away, many of the legal problems you are dealing with after your divorce will be settled in time.

“The biggest mistake divorcing spouses can make is being in the dark about finances. If your spouse has always handled all of the financial decisions in your household and you don’t have any information about you and your spouse’s income and assets, your spouse will have an unfair advantage over you when it comes time to settle the financial issues in your divorce. If you suspect your spouse is planning a divorce, get as much information as you can now. Make copies of important financial records such as account statements (eg., savings, brokerage, and retirement) and all other data that relates to your marital lifestyle (eg., checking accounts, charge card statements, tax returns).” http://www.divorcenet.com/states/new_york/15_critical_mistakes_in_divorce#b  Divorce net published by Nolo,  15 Critical Mistakes in Divorce

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