A divorce lawyer in Rhode Island sets forth the ten commandments of divorce and child custody. All litigants immersed in a divorce or child custody battle should read this family law post very carefully. These commandments (tips) have been adopted by RI divorce lawyer, David Slepkow, during 27 years of Family Court experience.
1.) Perception is reality
Both sides often have diametrically opposite version of the facts. The judge will never really know what happened. It is of utmost importance how the judge perceives you and your credibility. Credibility is absolutely crucial in RI Family Court.
2.) Retain a Rhode Island divorce Lawyer!
Hire a top RI child custody attorney or a Providence divorce lawyer to fight for your rights. You don’t know your way around family court. Often, everything is at stake. You need a Rhode Island lawyer to guide you through the complicated and complex minefield of Rhode Island Family Court. You would not perform your own surgery. You should not represent yourself in a divorce, child custody, adoption, dcyf matter, child visitation, paternity or Rhode Island child support matter
3.) Do not use illegal drugs or abuse alcohol
You may be required to submit to a drug test on a moment notice. Marijuana is included. Despite the fact that marijuana is legal in Rhode Island, you may face implations in a custody case.
4.) Do not make faces or be rude to the judge. Make your arguments but do not be argumentative.
Judges do not like overly aggressive and rude litigants. Do not interrupt the judge when the judge is speaking.
5.) Try not to explain your positions in black and white terms.
Years ago, I had a client in a custody case who told me that her boyfriend, whom she lived with for many years, never played with the minor child. She also informed me that he never changed the babies’ diaper and never did anything with the child. She lost credibility with me. If she had informed me that he occasionally played with the child, I would have felt she was more credible. The world is not about black and white, good and evil. Most everything in Rhode Island Family Court is about shades of gray. Very few people are all bad or all good. You can lose credibility very easily in Rhode Island Family Court.
6.) Concede what you must concede to maintain your own credibility.
In other words, do not lie or misrepresent obvious facts.
7.) At a minimum, create the perception that you are part of the solution
Even if you are the problem, you want the judge to perceive you as trying to be part of the solution rather than part of the problem. Judges are looking for equitable solutions not continuation of never-ending feuds. Rhode Island Family Court judges have too many cases on their calendar. They look favorably upon those who attempt to settle without judicial intervention.
8.) At least, give mediation a chance
Always be willing to at least try mediation even if you are positive it will not be successful. If you refuse mediation, you will be perceived by the judge as an obstructionist or unreasonable. Why should you be willing to try divorce, child custody or family law mediation in Rhode Island? See #6 above.
9.) Do not get bogged down in minutia.
This annoys the judge and takes the focus off the most important issues in the case. In other words, pick and choose your battles carefully. For example, try to work out issues such as the division of pots and pans and furniture outside of the judge’s intervention. Focus on the most important issues with the judge.
10.) Dress appropriately for Court. Again, perception is reality.
RI Family Court in not a nightclub nor is it the beach. No Shorts. No cut off shirts. Dress business casual.
11.) Keep the kids out of it!
Never bad mouth the other parent or discuss the case in any detail with the children. Never try to get the children on your side. Children are not your friends in the divorce. They are not your confidants. You should encourage a meaningful and loving relationship with the other parent.
12.) Third party reporters and investigators are crucial
Typically, the judge will ignore assertions made by both sides and look exclusively to independent sources such as the guardian ad-litem, child psychiatrists, psychologists, psychological evaluations, investigators, dcyf and clinical social workers. Why is this true? Judges get completely opposite and diametrically opposite factual assertion from the parties and do not have the time to try to sort it all out. In many cases it is impossible to sort out who is telling the truth. Therefore, the Rhode Island Family Court judges look to the above-mentioned trusted intermediary sources.
Legal Notice per RI Rules of Professional Responsibility:
The Rhode Island Supreme Court licenses all lawyers and attorneys in the general practice of law, but does not license or certify any lawyer/ attorney as an expert or specialist in any field of practice