I do not think that divorce in Rhode Island should be considered or treated as a “war.”
However, sometimes SPOUSES behave so badly and its so nasty, bitter and out of control that it can only be termed a “war”. I also do not think a typical divorce, visitation or child custody case in which the parties engage in discovery, disagreements, negotiations and many court hearings constitutes a war! A divorce war is something more, something much more. One U.S. Supreme Court justice stated he knows pornography when he sees it.
I know a divorce war when I see it
I STRONGLY dislike these unseemly brouhaha’s that no one can really win in the end. I actually make a concerted effort to prevent a war, but am willing to zealously fight for my client if I cannot prevent a battle royale. Some of you covet a figurative “bare knuckle brawl”. Unbelievably, Some of you get an emotional high from the give and take of these endless battles and actually enjoy the war.
Here are some of the hallmarks of a divorce war: ( 1 or 2 of these in itself does not necessarily mean its war.)
If you have three or more of these its a WAR!
-1 or more Restraining orders / No Contact Orders / Complaint Protection from Abuse
-Attempts to cause the other to lose employment / get your spouse fired
-Contacting the IRS, immigration or attorney general to report unlawful or criminal behavior
-Multiple unfounded calls to dcyf / child protective services
-Physical altercations between spouses or between family members or significant others
-Negative, mean spirited and disparaging remarks made to the children about the other part or the other person’s family
-Criminal complaints and criminal charges
-Numerous emergency motions
-Abusive or harassing text messages or emails
-A Facebook or Twitter propaganda war
-Police involvement in pickup and drop-offs on one or more occasions
-Irrational behavior in court by one or more parties-
-Baptizing child without notice/ hair cut by non custodial spouse without permission
-Complaint against opposing divorce attorney
-Using nude pictures videos as indirect or direct leverage to get a better settlement
Interestingly, almost all of these actions do not directly pertain to the Court process.
A divorce is not a war if all actions are done in Court or via negotiations between attorneys. That is contentious divorce litigation.