Dear Crazy 1st Time Family Court MOM of Young Child,

Dear Crazy, ‘Out Of Control’, first time RI Family Court mom with a young child, You made your bed and now you have to sleep in it. Perhaps in Family Court, the better saying would be ‘you took him to your bed, now you have to make the bed with him for 18 years, at least.’

A Rhode Island child custody lawyer speaks up

The types of issues set forth in this legal article typically occur in a paternity case, miscellaneous petitions for custody or visitation or even a divorce case.

I am not suggesting that all first time mothers act this way. I am only stating that I have seen a lot of mothers roaming the corridors of Providence Family Court acting like a crazy moron. I understand that there are hundreds and perhaps thousands of excellent mothers who litigate in Rhode Island Family Court. These mothers look out for the best interest of their child.

I see wacko, first time mothers running around Providence Family Court

These mothers believe that they own their child and the father is an impediment only. They will do anything they can to impede father’s rights to have a meaningful relationship with their child.

The list goes on and on and includes a who’s who of rationalizations:

He does not know how to change a diaper
He only wants to see the child to get back at me and does not care about the child
He is only doing this so his mother can see the child
He does not have a car seat
The child will not have her own room
He has sleep apnea and will not wake up to the child when the child cries
He may kidnap the child
Another child from a different relationship will be violent towards the baby
His or apartment is unsuitable for visits

The list goes on and on. However, the list begins and ends with mother’s belief that she owns this child!

Many mothers will keep throwing up roadblocks to father’s visits with his child. She will request supervised visits and a home study and then no overnight visits.

Memo to crazy mother’s:

(1) You made the decision to have a child with this man and that was the lifestyle that you ‘brought into’ so to speak. Now, do not expect a different lifestyle.

Rhode Island Restraining order attorney — Automatic court orders

If you slept with the Simpson’s, now don’t expect to have the life of the Walton’s. Family Court is not the place to dump a bunch of horse crap on the RI Family Court judge and expect the Court to clean up your mess.

It is your mess! You now have to deal with it. There is little the judge can do to help you.

Do not bother calling me unless you are willing to reform and listen to my advice. Do not call me unless you are willing to take reasonable and prudent decisions in the best interest of your child.

Co-parenting is the key!

Perhaps, the starting point is to communicate with the father and take the father’s concerns seriously. It is of utmost importance that you and the father co-parent and find compromises. When you reach an impasse, be willing to negotiate or attempt to mediate issues with the father.

Lack of a meaningful communication is the number one cause of contentious visitation wars in Providence Family Court

Courts are great at testing for drugs and alcohol, doing home studies to insure the safety of the child and setting up a fair visitation schedule. Family Court is not a place for an endless he said- she said about who changed the diaper, (when and where) or who fed the child this or that. It is not a good forum to determine who said something or nothing to the child.

A zealous advocate for mothers and fathers in Providence Family Court

I am the first one who will zealously advocate for a mother who has legitimate concerns about the fitness of a father to properly care for his child. These legitimate concerns include mental health problems, suicidal tendencies, alcoholism, drug addiction and an unstable lifestyle. These factors put the child at risk. Other legitimate issues are an unsafe or unhealthy living environment, domestic violence or a serious criminal history.

I will, where appropriate, request a restraining order and may seek a home study. If applicable, I will seek drug and alcohol testing of the father and may request supervised visitation.

Rational and prudent decisions

I will only advise clients to make decisions based on rational and prudent decision making that is in the best interest of the child. I do not consider myself a father’s rights attorney. I do not consider myself a Mother’s rights lawyer. I will fight for my client’s rights but only want to represent clients who are willing to put their children first. Unfortunately, I have represented dozens of these out of control mothers and I regret it every time! I will not be an enabler of an over protective, irrational and OUT of Control MOTHER!