Visitation

Nonpayment of child support by the non-custodial parent is not a justification to deny a visit with your child. It makes no difference whether you share joint custody or whether you have sole custody of your child.

All Rhode Island Family Court Judges and magistrates believe that it is not appropriate to punish the child by denying visitation merely because a person is not supporting the child. If a person is behind on child support or has failed to pay child support for the child, then you must file a motion for contempt for failure to pay child support.

Failure to pay child support is not a valid excuse to deny visitation

You cannot deny visits because your ex is a “deadbeat” or is in noncompliance with a child support order then you could be held in contempt for failure to comply with a visitation order. If you are repeatedly found in contempt of a child visitation order in Rhode Island, then you could lose custody / placement of your children. If you are unhappy with the visitation order or want to modify visitation then you must file a motion to modify visitation. It is not appropriate to use failure to pay child support as a justification to unilaterally impose a different visitation schedule then the court order.

If circumstances change- file a motion

If you are unable to pay your child support and there has been a substantial change in circumstances, then you must file a Motion to Modify Child Support or a Motion to suspend child support rather than unilaterally stop paying support. If circumstances have changed and you need to lower your child support, file a motion to modify child support. Pursuant to Rhode Island law, a change in circumstances must be a substantial change in circumstances.

A change in circumstances warranting a motion to modify child support in RI could include:

• unemployment
• disability
• New depedent child or children
• Decrease or increase of income, commisions or wages
• Ex-girlfriend or ex-spouse increase in income
• Decrease or increase of daycare or child care
• Increase in cost of health insurance for the children

The Pertinent Rhode Island Child Support statute related to Modification of Child Support is RI General Law Section 15-5-16.2(c)(2). Rhode Island General Law Section 15-5-16.2(c)(2) states:

“After a decree for support has been entered, the court may from time to time upon the petition of either party review and alter its decree relative to the amount of support and the payment of it, and may make any decree relative to it which it might have made in the original suit. The decree may be made retroactive in the court’s discretion only to the date that notice of a petition to modify was given to the adverse party if the court finds that a substantial change in circumstances has occurred; provided, that the court shall set forth in its decision the specific findings of fact which show a substantial change in circumstances and upon which findings of facts the court has decided to make the decree retroactive. The child support order shall continue in full force and effect, by wage withholding, after the youngest child is emancipated, and shall be applied towards any arrearage due and owing, as indicated on the child support computer system. Upon satisfaction of the arrears due and owing the child support order shall be automatically suspended and wage withholding terminated without the necessity of returning to family court.”  15-5-16.2(c)(2)

If you are in need of a Rhode Island divorce lawyer or a Providence child support attorney, contact Rhode Island family law attorney, David Slepkow.

Fast forward it two weeks and we have an international incident! The pee-wee soccer game is moved from its normal time of 12:30 pm to 9 am.  The local fair in town, this week, needs to use the field. Believe it or not I have seen pathetic visitation wars VERY similar to this fictional account!

See: part 1 of 3 and part 2 of 3

Visitation wars

The 14 prior Court orders do not address this! We have a real problem!  An international incident so to speak.

According to the visitation order of January 2023, by Judge Smith, the order states that father’s visitation starts at Saturday at 2pm. There is another order in 2021 stating that father’s visit will start at the end of a game.  Mother challenges the legitimacy of this 2021 visitation order, since she alleges that father’s prior Rhode Island divorce attorney entered it without notice.

Some sort of visitation motion was filed in 2021 concerning this, but no one is sure what happened concerning that. This 2021 order was as a result of  the fact that mother insisted on taking the child for ice cream for a half an hour, if the game ended early rather than allowing dad to take the child after the game. And then there is the long forgotten 2019 order, which states that if the “baseball or football” game ends early then visitation will start immediately. Noticeably this does not include soccer.

Oh, the horror! The soccer game was now ending this week at 10:30 am. Mom wants to enforce her rights under the 2023 decree.  “Visits start at 2pm and not a moment sooner!”, screams mother.

Father digs in his heal and hangs his hat on the 2021 order, which states that his visits start when the game is over.

Mother doesn’t have a copy of that 2021 order because her third lawyer sent her an unsigned copy of a different version of the order. She calls her ex-boyfriend a liar and denies the existence of an “entered” 2021 order. However, it is Saturday, and mother is unable to get the order.

Father, for his part, refuses to produce the 2021 order to his ex with a big smile on his face and says he will show it to the police when the game is over.

Mother declares that even if he has a copy of the 2021 order, it doesn’t apply since the 2019 order specifies it is only for “football and baseball” games. Dad says his lawyer (who does not exist) informed him that the later in time order governs the dispute so it applies to soccer games. Both parties assert that they would talk to their RI custody lawyer (and then they remember their lawyers ran away years ago)

Father’s Position:

The father asserts that,”this is a matter of principal.” Father claims that mother deserves this for not moving his visit last week so he could go camping with the child. Also, he tells his friends she is “crazy” and “screwed him” over when she had the child baptized without his consent in 2020.

This current spat has nothing to do with the extra hour or two of visits. This argument has everything to do with getting retribution for past wrongs, in this never-ending war. It has nothing to do with interpretation of the convoluted and confusing Court orders, either.

Mom calls her second attorney who previously withdrew from the case as a result of nonpayment. The dialogue goes something like this:

• “Do you remember me?”
• Divorce Lawyer “ohhh, how could I forget” (Under breath ‘those people’)
• “I need the order now.”
• The attorney states, “I’ll get to it and get back to you” (she throws away her number.)

Dad shows up at the game and tries to grab the child after the game and mom yells and screams. Dad calls the police to enforce his rights under the decree. Officer Jones takes the call and snickers under his breath “those people again”

The officer thinks ‘I know the answer’ and declares “This is a civil matter. Go to Family court.”

When we think of a ball field, we think of young children joyfully running after a ball and enjoying fresh orange slices at halftime prepared by mom or dad. However, sometimes at these games, it is the young children who act maturely and the parents who act  like children.

PART 2 of 3  ( The “your visitation time does not start until 2pm” feud!”) , PART 3 of 3

Visitation and children’s sport – soccer game

Sadly, in a ‘nuclear’ child custody or divorce war in RI Family Court, these same fields in which children blissfully enjoy their childhood are manipulated by the parents, family members and significant others. These areas are another front in their ongoing, never- ending visitation / divorce and custody feud. “These are Custody, Divorce or visitation wars that no one can win and everyone loses, especially the children who can suffer great harm as a result of the war.”

I want to emphasize that over 95 percent  of the parents going through divorce and visitation disagreements in Rhode Island Family Court do not act this way. Unfortunately, there are many litigants who behave badly. The events described below are not based on any particular case, but are compilations of real type events that I have seen in over 21 years as a  RI child visitation and custody lawyer.

Pickup and Drop off Child Custody Battles:

These soccer, baseball or football events can involve a ‘toxic brew’ of grandparents, parents, cousins, friends, lovers and significant others. All with a story to tell.  Many with an ax to grind.  And there is always a history. So many backstories that few can understand this tangled web. “However, in high conflict divorces or Child Custody cases sometimes these exchanges can be a real problem.”

Are these all bad people?  No. These are all people thrust into a war who cannot see the forest from the trees. They have all become so immersed into this war that they have long lost perspective on what this brouhaha is doing to the children. Shame on them!

At a certain point, it is irrelevant how this all started or who is at fault or who is good and bad.  It is not only irrelevant, it is nearly impossible for anyone to decipher who if anyone is on a moral high ground.  We all can decipher that this needs to stop and that this is emotionally damaging to the child!

They all need to stop it and put the child first! CUT it out!  STOP IT.

No one cares why this is happening. Everyone wants it to stop. EVERYONE HAS STOPPED CARING ABOUT THE EMOTIONAL DAMAGE THIS IS DOING TO THE CHILDREN! Everyone agrees that it is not in the best interest of the child to bear witness to these out of control, ghastly and ugly feuds. However, there is often a compelling lure of a well-timed pot shot, some emotional leverage, protecting the honor of a family member and the need to stand your ground. These lures often outweighs the best interest of the child, as far as these people are concerned.

The child’s playing field becomes a pitched battle with the parents and third parties

The games should be on the field but sometimes the game playing is on the sideline.  The child’s playing field becomes a pitched battle in which third parties amass at the borders and can insert themselves into the custodial feud between mom and dad.

Grandma and Grandpa have heard endless stories about how their son’s ex is screwing over the father of the child and how crazy she is.  She is “greedy” and “nuts” and wastes her child support on “partying” at least according to dad.  The ball field will be their opportunity to get their two cents in, make their voice heard and show that they are fully supporting their son (the father of the children).

Unfortunately lost in all of this is the affect this feud is having on the young children!

And then there is the new girlfriend. She has heard all the “crazy bitch” stories and the ‘abusive ex’ complaints. Perhaps,  she is still jealous or wants to protect her turf. This is her guy now! Unfortunately, neither parent is mature or savvy enough to call off the dogs and tell these third parties to stand down, stay away and not get involved in the visitation disagreements.

Troops have amassed at the borders and the battles are about to begin. The most common spats:

(1) ‘The stay away from the child, it is my time dispute’– It’s Saturday morning and it’s dad’s visitation weekend. Dad is bitter that he only has visitation every other weekend and Thursday evening for a few hours. After all, he lost the divorce court hearing in Providence Family Court a few years ago asking for an additional overnight during the school week. Dad wants to protect his time!

Mom is really proud that junior scored the big goal in the midget league finale. She wants to go give him a big hug and get some pictures for Facebook and Instagram of her pride and joy. She wants to enjoy this moment with her new love of her life Frank and their new toddler Frank JR.

Frank was the same guy who she cheated with and lead to the downfall of the marriage

Frank was the same guy who she cheated with and lead to the downfall of the marriage. Dad thinks he is a bad influence on Junior. Father sees this little song and dance and he is seething. This is his parenting time! This is the little time that he gets. That “bitch” and “sl-t” is impinging on his time! Dad gives the  tacit go ahead to grandma who has been waiting for months to get in a clean jab towards ‘that’ woman.

Grandma approaches the mother of the child, while the child is present and yells “stay away from this kid it is my son’s time. If you had spent more time with your family and less time cheating…” .

LIGHTS Camera ACTION!

Mom screams back “he’s a deadbeat dad!”. Dad comes flying over and yells loudly that “he is a home wrecker…and I am gonna mess him up.” Frank bangs his chest against the father and yells ” You wanta go tough guy”

Dad calls the police to protect himself. However, the police arrest him in front of the child.  Mom runs into court with her Rhode Island child custody attorney and gets a restraining order the next day.  The police allege he instigated the feud by running over aggressively. Dad protests claiming that he was wrongly arrested and prepares his revenge for the next opportunity. His family is fuming.  Dad stops paying child support to teach mom a lesson. Mom and her Rhode Island child custody attorney prep a motion to to hold the father in willful contempt. This is an endless cycle.

In Rhode Island child custody, visitation and divorce cases, the issue of Thanksgiving holiday visitation is often hotly contested. The most contentious holidays appear to be Christmas, Thanksgiving and Easter.  Judges do not like these disputes because there is a generally held belief that these custodial disputes should be resolved quietly between the parties or as part of family mediation.

The Annual Thanksgiving visitation dispute

If the parties cannot agree to Thanksgiving visitation, then the Judge will typically divide the day so that the child spends Thanksgiving with one parent until 1to 2-pm and then the remainder of the day with the other parent.  This allow the child to enjoy a Thanksgiving meal with both families. This assumes that both parents reside in Rhode Island.

Rhode Island visitation lawyer

Some parents decide to alternate Thanksgiving so that the father will have Thanksgiving on odd years and Mother on even years or vice versa. Typically, the minor child will stay overnight the night before Thanksgiving with one parent and then spend half the Thanksgiving day with that parent. The child will be transferred to the other parent between  1 to 2 pm. and then spend overnight Thanksgiving evening with that parent. This is not rocket science. The parties should try to resolve this issue among themselves before spending attorney fees and utilizing RI Family Court resources.

The Easter holiday is either split in the same manner as Thanksgiving or it is alternated every other year.

Christmas visitation

Will the Family Court order that children should wake up and open the Christmas presents Christmas morning every year at the house where the child resides?

NO. Almost every judge in Providence Family Court believes that the parties should alternate Christmas evening / Christmas morning visitation so that both parents can enjoy the children on Christmas evening and Christmas morning. The judges and magistrates in Rhode Island Family Court have heard the usual arguments a million times before.

[Read more…] about Thanksgiving & Christmas Parenting Time Feuds in Family Court

Determining child visitation is a crucial facet of custody, divorce, DCYF and RI post-divorce cases. There is a widely accepted adage that “the best child visitation schedule is no schedule.” If there was no visitation schedule, then the parties would agree that “there will be all reasonable rights of visitation as they agree from time to time.” Child visitation schedules are often resolved through mediation. If you are in need of a RI visitation lawyer, contact Providence Family Court visitation attorney, David Slepkow

Rhode Island child visitation attorney

The best visitation schedules are negotiated between the parties. If the parties cannot reach a mutually acceptable agreement, then the Rhode Island Family Court will typically require them to engage in Mediation. The Court offers a free mediation program. Mediation is required for all visitation and custody disputes.

RI custody and visitation law

If the parties cannot resolve visitation between themselves or by mediation, then the Rhode Island Family Court may order a common RI child visitation schedule.

Child visitation schedules

With infants, teenagers and very young children the standard schedule may not be suitable for the parties. If the parties work schedule does not permit a standard visit schedule, then the Court must order an appropriate and reasonable schedule based on the parties work schedules. Of course, vacation, summer, holiday and birthday visitation also must be resolved. The issue of child support is completely independent of visitation in RI Family Court.

Can denial of visitation lead to a change in custody of a child in RI?

If the Court finds a parent in willful contempt of a visitation order two times, the court can use such contempt as a grounds to change placement of the minor child. RI law 15-5-16(d) actually states that if there are two findings of “noncompliance” of a visitation order then “the court shall consider this to be grounds for a change of custody to the noncustodial parent.” My experience with RI family Court Judges tells me that most Providence Family Court Judges interpret findings of noncompliance to mean findings of willful contempt.

Pursuant to Section 15-5-16(d) “In regulating the custody of the children, the court shall provide for the reasonable right of visitation by the natural parent not having custody of the children, except upon the showing of cause why the right should not be granted or as provided in subdivision 15-5-16(d)(4). The court shall mandate compliance with its order by both the custodial parent and the children. In the event of noncompliance, the noncustodial parent may file a motion for contempt in family court. Upon a finding by the court that its order for visitation has not been complied with, the court shall exercise its discretion in providing a remedy, and define the noncustodial parent’s visitation in detail. However, if a second finding of noncompliance by the court is made, the court shall consider this to be grounds for a change of custody to the noncustodial parent.”

If a parent physically or sexually abuses a child can that lead to a denial of visitation In RI

“A judicial determination that the child has been physically or sexually abused by the natural parent shall constitute sufficient cause to deny the right of visitation. However, when the court enters an order denying visitation under this section, it shall review the case at least annually to determine what, if any, action the parent has taken to rehabilitate himself or herself and whether the denial of visitation continues to be in the child’s best interests.” § 15-5-16. Alimony and counsel fees – Custody of children.

Overnight parenting time on school nights

In the last 10 years, overnight visitation on school nights during the week have become more commonplace. Also, Sunday overnights have become increasingly commonplace.

The Rhode Island Supreme Court licenses all visitation lawyers in Rhode Island in the general practice of law, but does not license or certify any lawyer as an expert or specialist in any field of practice.