This divorce post was authored by Rhode Island Divorce lawyer, David Slepkow. David explains some less common reasons for divorce. David was voted a top three lawyer in Rhode Island by the Providence Journal Reader’s Choice poll.
Separation attorney in RI
In most cases, the pathway that leads to divorce or separation is very understandable to every member of the family. Often times, married couples develop long-term patterns of infidelity, abuse, addiction or deceit. However, in some incidences, the reasons for becoming divorced are more difficult to comprehend. The less common reasons for getting divorced in Providence Family court are detailed below.
Before evaluating less common reasons for divorce, here are common reasons for divorce and separation:
Most common reasons for divorce:
- cheating, infidelity
- Spouses are not compatible
- Alcohol and or drug use
- Spouses have grown apart and gone in different directions / apart
- A lack of commitment
- Arguing, domestic abuse / domestic violence
- Differing lifestyles and values
- Lack of good communication / poor communication
- Lack of sex or lack of satisfying sex
We Have Grown Apart
Many individuals believe that once they have fallen out of love or grown apart it is an indicator that it is time to move on. However, this is often a misrepresentation of marriage that is actually a commitment and not a feeling. When couples place temporary feelings ahead of the commitments they made to one another, even the most solid relationship is destined to fail. Sometimes, couples refuse to invest any more time at this point to ensure that the marriage works.
We Cannot Agree about Money
Money related problems are one of the leading reasons for divorce in Rhode Island. However, the financial devastation that creates the dissolution of marriage only exacerbates the problem when both spouses hire a costly RI divorce attorney. Many couples are unaware that it might be financially advantageous to work out money problems instead of divorcing over them.
You Have Let Yourself Go
Nothing in life stays the same, including how each spouses looks. Many couples ensure that they look their best for their upcoming wedding and simply let themselves go once the honeymoon is over. In many incidences, a spouse might believe that the other spouse wonders if they even care how they look. However, getting a divorce in Rhode island family court seems an unlikely solution to the problem.
I Know I Would Be Happier by Myself
To some individuals, their lack of happiness equates to the marriage being over, especially if they realize they would be happier by themselves or with another. Usually, this is based on “the pursuit of happiness” as an expected right of both spouses in the marriage. If one spouse places happiness over the family unit, commitments, integrity or other factor, the marriage is usually doomed to fail. In most cases, the unhappy individual will continue to be unhappy long after the marriage has been dissolved.
Irreconcilable Differences and divorce in RI
Once the joys of the honeymoon have worn off, many individuals are faced with the fact that they are just too different from their spouse. Instead of living a life of blissful joy, they become aware that their married life will be filled with irreconcilable differences. However, the couples that have the most successful marriages are those who are not necessarily compatible but committed to making things work.
My Friends Tell Me I Need to Get Divorced
Any individual that tells their friends they need to get divorced likely does not understand every aspect of the marriage. Usually, no friend has the ability to determine whether the person’s spouse loves and cares for them. Relying on a friendship to obtain reliable marriage advice usually produces undesirable results. This is because the friend did not vow to make a lifelong commitment in the marriage. For some, it makes better sense to get new friends instead of a new spouse.
I Am So Tired of Being Married
Choosing to get divorced when frustrated and tired is usually not a wise decision. While some individuals believe marriage will solve many problems, in real life, staying together is much harder than most single people believe. If both spouses believe that the marriage can work if they put forth the effort, it can. To ensure success in staying married, it is essential to take problems one day at a time.
Staying together takes a full commitment by both partners. Many couples have solid marriages because they have learned how to overcome petty grievances that usually drive people to separate.
Resources and citations:
“In 2006–2010, the probability of a first marriage lasting at least 10 years was 68% for women and 70% for men. Looking at 20 years, the probability that the first marriages of women and men will survive was 52% for women and 56% for men in 2006–2010. These levels are virtually identical to estimates based on vital statistics from the early 1970s (24). For women, there was no significant change in the probability of a first marriage lasting 20 years between the 1995 NSFG (50%) and the 2006– 2010 NSFG (52%) (Table 5). The remainder of first marriages that ended within a 20-year period were dissolved by divorce, separation, or rarely, by death.” CDC, National Health Statistics report Number 49 n March 22, 2012 First Marriages in the United States: Data From the 2006–2010 National Survey of Family Growth by Casey E. Copen, Ph.D.; Kimberly Daniels, Ph.D.; Jonathan Vespa, Ph.D.; and William D. Mosher, Ph.D., Division of Vital Statistics http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nhsr/nhsr049.pdf#x2013;2010 National Survey of Family Growth [PDF – 419 KB</a>
- “In 2001, 6.9 million custodial parents who were due child support under the terms of agreements or current awards were due an average of $5,000; an aggregate of $34.9 billion in payments due.
- Of this amount, about $21.9 billion (62.6 percent) was received, averaging $3,200 per custodial-parent family. Overall, custodial parents reported receiving $22.8 billion directly from the non-custodial parent for support of their children in 2001, which included $900 million received by parents without current awards or agreements.
Average Annual Amount of Child Support Received
- In 2001, the average annual amount of child support received (for custodial parents receiving at least some support) was $4,300, and did not differ between mothers and fathers (as support recipients).” http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/child-support-statistics-and-trends.html