This RI Family law article was authored by a Rhode Island child custody attorney who is also a Providence divorce lawyer. For those of you who believe I am only a father’s rights lawyer, here goes:
Dear, not ready to have a child, father
She is an overprotective, first time mom. She is trying to keep you out of your child’s life. But you act like an idiot every time you get a chance! When you meet with your RI Family Court lawyer, you act the part of the victim. The first words out of your mouth, in front of your divorce attorney, is usually “she is crazy.”
You forget to mention to you RI custody lawyers that you regularly text her, calling her a “slut”, “bitch” and a “whore” and a wide variety of niceties. You didn’t even tell your lawyer about all the game playing you engage in to push her buttons such as:
- Dropping off the child late after visitations nearly every time
- Not showing up for visitations without notifying the mother
- Trashing her on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and other social networks
- Getting the child’s haircut without her permission
- Informing her that you will not return the child
- Leaving nasty messages with your child to tell the mother
- Calling her misogynist and offensive messages through text bombs
- Refusing to tell the child’s mother where you live and who you live with
- Refusing to sign documents required for the child’s school, daycare, activities or sporting events.
- Refusing to sign a passport so mother can go on vacation with the child
I realize that a vast majority of men who litigate Child Custody Cases in RI Family Court do not act as set forth in this child custody article. I do not mean to offend anyone, except if you act like a moron, then I do intend to offend you. If you act this way, then get your act together and act in the best interest of your child.
(Please see Dear Crazy First Time Family Court Mom “I see these wacko first time mothers running around Providence Family Court, sometimes decorated with a tramp stamp, acting like they are mother of the year. These mothers believe that they own their child and the father is an impediment only. They will do anything they can to impede father’s rights to have a meaningful relationship with their child.)
It is an endless cycle
She does everything she can to keep you away from your child and deprive you of your fundamental rights to have a meaningful relationship with your child. You do everything you can to act like a moron instigator. She then she rationalizes your behavior as a reason you should have limited, supervised or no visits with the minor child. At some point there will be restraining orders, allegations and perhaps criminal cases between the two of you. Visitation in RI is a serious matter that may require a RI visitation lawyer.
At the end of the day, you are the father and you have a right to have a meaningful relationship with your child despite the fact that you are a fool!
There may be a fire brewing, but you spill gasoline all over it every time you get a chance. The two of you deserve each other. You are both wasting a lot of resources of the Providence Family Court. Sadly, you do great damage to the emotional and physical well-being of your child. At the end of the day, neither of you were ready for the responsibilities of having a child. You both like the attention of this endless war and feed off the drama. After all, you post it all over Facebook for your friends, dear I say enablers, to do what enablers do -which is enable.
You know who you are. You tell everyone who will listen that she is crazy and a nut.
It’s true she is a bit crazy, but you poke the bear every time you get the chance. Here is some of the crap you do, mostly to get emotional leverage against her:
- You schedule visits and do not show up. You show up late for visits.
- You post lots of pictures of you and your buddies getting drunk and high on Facebook.
- You deny paternity as a tactic to get under her skin and indirectly accuse her of cheating and being promiscuous.
- You incessantly question whether she was sleeping with her ex. boyfriend when the baby was conceived.
- You laugh when you deliver the baby home with a messy diaper at the end of your visit. Your friends get a good laugh at it too. You tell her that if she brings it up in Court you will deny it.
- You refuse to tell her where you are taking the child and basic information.
- You don’t answer the phone during your visit and refuse to tell her what you fed the child and when.
- And sometimes you go over her house not for the benefits of fatherhood but to make a lame attempt to get sexual benefits from her.
- You don’t return the child home with the clothes she gave you.
- You take the child for a haircut despite the fact that you know that it will enrage the mother.
- You return the child home hours late for a visit.
- You call her names and threaten to kidnap the child.
- Whenever you are angry at her, you tell her that you are seeking “full custody” and that she is an unfit mother.
- You tell everyone who will listen that she is a slut and that she is nuts.
- You flaunt your new girlfriend in front of her and make it a point to have your hot new girlfriend come to the pickup and drop-offs.
- Any chance you get, you call her new boyfriend a loser. You speak negatively about the mother in front of the child knowing that the child will repeat it back to his mother.
- You post pictures on FB and twitter with your new girlfriend acting like she is the child’s mother! You hope she or one of your facebook friends will report it to her.
- When you get drunk, you love sending harassing text messages to her calling her a “ho, bitch, slut”.
- You are always behind on child support and pay sporadically. You rationalize your non-payment because she is wasting the money and not spending it on the child. When she complains of your lack of supporting your child, you post a picture of the new watch you just purchased as well as you and your friends getting bottle service at club in Providence
- Sometimes you go weeks without seeing your child and then you claim that it is her fault.
Neither of you can agree as to why you don’t visit enough
She claims that you do not care about the child, that you are only seeking custodial rights so your mother can visit with the children. You claim that you want to see the child as much as you can but she doesn’t respond to your phone calls and insists that your visits be supervised. And now you are angry that her “evil” mother is appearing at all visits. When she complains about your drinking too much, you remind her that her brother had a dui 5 years ago and how you will use that in Court against her
When you show up in Rhode Island family Court everyone just wants both of you to go away.
Neither of you can afford an attorney so you beg your parents to fund the war. The Court cannot really help the likes of you two. It starts with the judge ordering mediation and if you cannot agree a visitation schedule will be mandated by the judge. The Court will order NO Negative and disparaging remarks!
The Court cannot change the way either of you act
The Court cannot make either of you act like mature adults and good parents. The RI family Court does not solve problems. The Providence Family Court determines custody, visitation and placement and makes visitation orders. If someone violates that order the court can enforce the order through contempt proceedings.
Now leave Court and go back to your immature game playing ways.